why do modern man dies younger?

or at least lives for a shorter time? back in old days the life seemed like eternity. a year seemed like a decade for us oh how glorious times they were. you born, live and most probably died in on and the same place... you saw your granny getting old and them passing as well as your mother and father and you knew that some day you shall pass too and there is nothing unnatural in it. you were not afraid of the death as you knew your place and your time and as you were not afraid of it you also get to enjoy the life much more than the modern man does... these days it's all just a one great rush... first comes birth then couple years of magical bliss but then it all starts.. kinder garden -> school [primary->secondary] -> university -> work.... it just feels like with each up coming year the time starts to move faster and faster.. it's not going with one speed... the acceleration seems growing in geometrical progression... ohh how terrible it sounds when you just listen to yourself..... I lost my though here... hope any of this made at least a little sense -sigh- lately everything is passing by so fast the world just seems blurry in general and the dimness never leaves my head

with tired eyes and dizzy head yours - Shadow mistress

ohh... never mind

it's finally here ^^

I just understood that it's November for already 15min now... gosh it's finally here -clap- the darkest of all months.. the last faze of natures agony before falling asleep for the winter..
isn't that lovely? ^^

sleep is important to growing organism

have you ever wondered how you fell asleep last night? such thought comes across my mind now and then... I used to fall asleep the minute I get in bed.. it has changed over the last year and now I am still [as I have started to wonder before] wondering about the possibility that I might be in need for sleeping pills.. but the story is not about that... before sleep you try to find the best pose to rest in during the night.. for me it takes more than 20mins to find the right pose but I can never remember in which pose I fell asleep... I am then in the next night always trying to remember the pose in which I fell asleep but it never works... suppose the brains are like a computer by which I mean if you faint in a second you remember how it happened but if you go trough the all system shuting down process [you know... logging off, saving your settings ect.] you can not remember things that took an action during that process... sometimes I even get in the stand by mode and I can feel how my mind is switching to it....
suppsoe human mind is just a big mashine itself

p.s. I am starting to wake up strange too.. not the usual "open you eyes, understand where you are" way but like I would get my head above the water after drowning or something... it's starting to bother me a little

have you heard the new hit? it's even more shallow then the last one

modern music... what do we imagine hearing these words? mostly the top music.. the MTV or top 40 music and what is that? some 3 min pop piece with mostly 4 lines of text and maximums 5 sec of rhythm that's going on a loop... adding some synthetic sounds and here you go.. a new top hit. and beside all that the text [which at least for me plays a great role in a song] is not some serious deep tough for what I could forgive being just 4 lines long... no.. it's some text about being drunk and horny... and I ask myself.. why is that so? why modern world is so obsessed with such music? why they rather listens to some chick singing to one beat about her last night not some life long expirienced band telling about ways of life and intelligence and all this text is escorted by polyphonic melodies... but I think I know the answer to this question...... comfort and easynes... that is what modern man cares about.. everything has to be as easy doneable as possible just look on the modern technologies everything goes to make or lifes as simply as possible... so is with the mind... music is one of thous things that your mind has to work with and as any other activity trains some part of your body music trains your head.. your brains and your ability to understand... but modern man is lazy in it's core.. it wants everything to be as easy done as possible.. and that includes the things that minds has to done... the things one should understand... modern music only represents what modern man is longing for.. and no matter how much it would sadden me I have to admit that modern society is going twords simplyfying.. and not elegant minimalism no but just plain easyness... it doensn't want to make ones mind work to hard whyle trying to get into meaning full music.. it wants it all done easy.... easy done... easy understandable...... that is the illness of modern world... and it sickens me to the core.. I can truly say.... I am discused with the modern world

with late greetings and dim head, yours Shadow mistress

p.s. I would like to thank my dear sir PsychoAngel726 for the question and I hope I have replyed to it properly

silence and stilness

For a long time I haven't wrote anything in here and I am ashamed for that. But what can I say.. a period silence was needed indeed just to get over and past some things and what can I say... silence heals.. it has always done and always will... also the everyday rush gives me no break of it's tight grab... but I am still here still alive ^^ and now the time has come when I want to become bigger, darker and simply wise.. "It is time to spread my wings, to fill this empty hole"... I want to feel life rushing trough my rusted vanes oh how great the desire is
Fall is in it's highest oh my autumn oh how I love thee
autumn break is next week so I'll probably work a little in here then but for now
Let the all mighty darkness lead your way trough the day,

humbly yours - Shadow mistress

buzzing in an empty room to a deaf ear

silence..
this world is so fucking pissed off

silence.....

they will die and in the end we all will...

mindless... why masses are so toughtless..... blind...
hiding by their beloved smile

it's all fucked up...
they use us for their puppets.... pritty puppets.... strings on their arms

all world covered in noise...
sometimes I think that I'm going slower... but no.. everyone else are just going faster.. too fast

....silence...
that's what's left when everything else is gone...
here my prayer and embrace me oh thy..
I long and wait for the day when finally it all will be silent