Totalselfhatred - state where there is nothing but endless hate upon oneself

this just rips your heart right out
all that album does.. brilliant dsbm

The park of black water

Buying of a new record always brings such an excitement. To hold in the shop while whispering "I choose you".. then buy it and as you walk out the shop with your precious in your hands say "now you are mine" them take it home... at home slowly sit next to your audio device.. carefully remove the plastic around it.. hold it in your fingertips.. admire the beautiful cover.. gently open it and take out the booklet and riffle trough it.. be fascinated how very beautiful it is.. leave it open next to you.. you'll read it later cause now the time has finally come and you can't wait any longer... once again using only your fingertips take out the CD.. look at it for a second and then lightly place it in your device... press play... lay on your back... close your eyes.. and sink into the magical world of music... the feeling can not be described I won't even try to do that...
And I must get that other one too I simply must.. I should have gotten it just there and then but k.. I still have some time let's hope I'll find it there then... I saw some backup plans as well but I think that it's the one.. that's the one I must get.. and I will

the end of it all indeed

by the way... the new Sirenia clip - BOOOOO)))))RING!!!!

at least then they didn't ignore it

Listening to The Residents radio specials from 1977...

"now lets continue to listen to this so called music"

more than 30 years after and what has changed? nothing but the fact that these days no one would ever let such music play on mass radio stations.... and they still can't understand why it's called music.... we are going down here... down...down....down...

Forgotten Tomb - Negative Megalomania

Tired of all your bullshit, fed up with all your crap
A bunch of retarded children, all dressed up in black
A mass of nerds, so repressed, behind your PC screens
Trying to appear so evil, to look more and more extreme

A temporary trend you want to live talking shit everyday
You buy a thousand albums, since your parents are the ones who pay
You're a plague to be erased, you're just a waste of life
Now show me your wrists, I will take care of the knife

A negative megalomania
Our weapon to get rid of this scum
Your frustration puts a big smile on my face
I like to provoke your sickening race

"Why don't you kill yourself?"
Too many times I've heard these words,
but still you can't understand
I'm not the one supposed to die
Why don't you take a look
to your silly teenage life?

Always criticizing what I say and who I am
Who are you to judge? I don't really give a damn
You never understood a flying fuck about my belief
Your self-elimination to me would be a nice relief

A negative megalomania
Our weapon to get rid of this scum
Your frustration puts a big smile on my face
I like to provoke your sickening race

Now I know my mistake:
I overvalued people' minds
but still you can't understand
I'm just a wise man
Smiling while I drink some whiskey,
as you complain about how I'm "fake"...

KILL YOURSELF

Rumours and infamies never managed to stop us
Your pathetic lies were just free promotion
Death threats gone in vain, you can't kill who's already dead
Your hate towards us, our fame grows inexorably

(Got some load of misery for ya)

Devil Bless Negativity






(but that last riff is sooooo orgasmic)

depressive rock I love you and I will marry you

I am audiholic... I am always in need for a new listening material.. I like to spend hours and hours in last.fm looking for some interesting bands and unknown music genres... but as I discover more it only gets clearer.... now and then I get really into some specific genre and love it till the bone but after some time I'll jump to next one ever so easy... but I think I can say now.. reveal my one true love... and it's depressive rock though it has rock in it it's more of a metal than rock subgenre and mostly it stays for lighter doom metal or depressive black metal two of my ever so dear bands Katatonia and Lifelover falls into this genre and just today I discovered a new great band named Autumnblaze which also plays depressive rock... so now I travel to youtubeland to find some nice song of them to put on here and guess what? I find the song... and the clip that someone has made from it... consists of fragments from one of my all time favorite [if not number one] movies Eternal Sunshine Of A Spotless Mind this is just..... perfect ^^

Lacuna Coil - Not Enough

I don’t want to be saved, I wanna go down with you
Together we will find a way to come back

Come back, Come back

I don’t want to be saved, I wanna go down with you
Together we will find a way to come back

I thought it was too late
I thought you disappeared
It’s been a while since I believed in you

I used to have the strength
I used to just walk away
But now that I see you
It’s not enough, it’s not enough

I don’t want to be saved, I wanna go down with you
Together we will find a way to come back

I’m falling once again
I’m following the way
Nothing changed since I believed in you

I knew that it would come
I thought that I’d be afraid
But now that I have you
It’s not enough, it’s not enough

I don’t want to be saved, I wanna go down with you
Together we will find a way to come back

Forgotten fears
I’d throw away all the caution out unto the wind
My soul is thirsty, and I’m still dreaming of you
Get out of my mind

Come back (Get out of my mind)
Come back (Get out of my mind)

I don’t want to be saved, I wanna go down with you
Together we will find a way to come back

I don’t want to be saved, I wanna give into you
Together we will find a way to come back

This White Mountain On Which You Will Die

I love to play Agalloch... I very liked them before too but when I started to play ohh... it's just sounds ever so good ^^ by this far I've only played around with two songs.. A Celebration for the Death of Man... and The Isle of Summer but I am already deeply in love and want to learn as much as possible... if I ever will make my own stuff I want it to sounds just like Agalloch :3

The Romanovs - Kiss

I am getting a bit addicted to this song... for a shame I couldn't find the a video or the track in the net so if you want to hear it you'll have to download the album "...and the Moon Was Hungry..."
but I found the lyrics :3

The kisses of peace
Started off the evening
Reasonless fairs so well

A girded pair we are
We watch our words
And pretend not to care

The last time we touched
Was on the left side of the porch
Desire for days, but
Buttons never left their ports

'Cause the kiss is in the chemicals
Who needs a lover when you've got a new best friend
What could be better than this alibi
This feeling that I wouldn't care if I were dead
If you pinch me now I wouldn't flinch

The beauty's in the chemicals
That qualifies the kiss

Ahoy, ahoy, ahoy, ahoy...a whore

You take my hand
You want to lead me to the porch again
I'm sorry dear but this time I must insist
That we set sail from here.

'Cause the kiss is in the chemicals
Who needs a lover when you've got a new best friend
What could be better than my alibi
This feeling that I wouldn't care if I were dead
If you pinch me now I wouldn't flinch

the longest year that had me down

In the nights of old I always wished
In the longest year that had me down
And I would freeze if you ever asked me
That was my way

[x2]
Confront the guilt and try to overcome
Do not go away
I'm not there yet

[Chorus:]
I can see fire
When I fall behind (fall behind)
When I give up
My thoughts redefined
How cold is the flame
Of our uncompromising future
How cold is the sun

The city lights fading still
The coming sky so white
And I'm the dark of this our new day
This is my way

Find the one
This weight will hold me down
How cold is the sun

[Chorus]

I am progressive I eat lotus

I just noticed that there's an Opeth song named The Lotus Eater.... seriously? The Lotus Eater? what the?..... it's a nice song tough... the part from 5:44 with that synth thing is especially nice
but tell me... why lotus? why would anyone want to eat lotus and for what sake? and why should someone want to name a song after some weird thing that's eating lotus? is it some new type of progression? Lotus is big and pretty lets eat it that will be progressive yeah.... but maybe if you eat lotus you become big and pretty yourself and who wouldn't like to be big and pretty?.......... me.... I wouldn't... big.. no way... pretty? I am gorgeous already so why I would want to become pretty? pretty is cute and I am not cute at all... maybe sometimes.... quite a lot of times... but it's not like I am cute all the time.... I think.. -thinks- anywho..... lets save the plants and don't eat them k kids?
and yes I know this all is gibberish but I am getting sleepy and that means the senseless blogger inside me is awaking... I am not even sure if the title means what I at the moment think that it means I bet it doesn't khe....
don't eat plants they have as much rights to live as you you old skunk and actually even more rights that you I can bet

Dethklok - Dethalbum 2007

my dearest milady was willing to have a little something from these gallant gentleman's so here they are... hope you'll enjoy them dear ^^

1.	Murmaider	03:24
2.	Go into the Water	04:19
3.	Awaken	03:37
4.	Bloodrocuted	02:16
5.	Go Forth and Die	04:20
6.	Fansong	02:55
7.	Better Metal Snake	03:26
8.	The Lost Vikings	04:26
9.	Thunderhorse	02:45
10.	Briefcase Full of Guts	02:43
11.	Birthday Dethday	02:48
12.	Hatredcopter	02:55
13.	Castratikron	02:56
14.	Face Fisted	04:16
15.	Dethharmonic	04:30
16.	Deththeme	00:34
Total playing time		52:10

a friendly ask

everclear06 a guy from last.fm I've been given some recommendations to asked my if I could put thous couple of albums in here.. [both of them are dsbm albums with depressive rock influences which is my all time favorite genre...] so I did and here they are ^^

Helvetespine - Frykten Og Mennesket 2007

1.	Preludium - Hvor Maanelys Speiles i Mennesteblod	01:26
2.	Døden er Kunst	05:35
3.	Blott et Minne	04:48
4.	Frykten og Mennesket	06:00
5.	Helvetespine del I	06:45
6.	Helvetespine del II	09:53
7.	Postludium - Den Siste Natt	01:27
Total playing time		33:57

Totalselfhatred - Totalselfhatred 2008

1.	Enlightment	05:41
2.	Ruoska	06:03
3.	Sledge-Hammered Heart	06:35
4.	Spirituelles Equilibrium	04:38
5.	Mighty Black Dimensions	07:27
6.	Carving	07:46
7.	Total Self-Hatred	07:20
Total playing time		45:30

death metal fuck yeah

I love Cannibal Corpse ^^

Katatonia - Help Me Disappear

to completely dissolve,
what method is used
i cannot sleep,
my hands are bruised
there's a hole in the wall,
torn up anew
one dead eye,
the colour of you

to vanish for life
and promise to stay
away from the knowing,
bird in a cage
i'd give so much
for the courage to go
if i ask for your help,
then you will know

so help me disappear
or to believe in a change
no way out of here
that i can see
or the nightmares that burn
into my head at night
make them disappear
so i can breathe

looked out the window twice,
just to be sure
that noone was standing
outside the door
but it's just as calm
as it was before
they're all gone now,
not there anymore

isolated myself
for the sake of freedom
i clenched my fist
for the sake of kindness
i read a book full of strange
words
loneliness is a disease



some songs are just written for you or at least it feels like it

that's what I call party music

a friend of mine few days ago send me a message with some music recommendations and guess what she was recommending to me? nothing but the good ol' Korpiklaani.. she said that she had diged them up somewhere and as she listened to them I came in her mind [ohh isn't that sweet? -giggle-] so yeah I responded that there is no way that I might not know them xD I just hadn't listened to them for some quite time so I did again and you know what? as I was listening to them a question came upon me... why the blody fuck we need al that dance one beat songs for or partyes whail we could just put up some Korpiklaani and enjoy some good ol' polka beats.. actualy they makes me so much more feel like dancing than al thous silly never ending bass beats... so Fuck the industrial music Fuck the modern music and FUCK the lausy one beat music... polka is the way all trought and shall stay... down with the Dj up with Korpiklaani \m/ -does a little dance here- \m/

this was the song she sent to me [right now I am listening to 'Tervaskanto' which is Korpiklaani live]

wiiiii it's a twee

k...k..k.. it's 4 to 23 and I am getting a bit hyper.. got my music folder on shuffle [total of 11304 songs] and it just spit out Tullycraft... they are soooo cool -giggle- now I am standing on my chair and dancing in the dark with my big headphones on... feels kinda cool ^^



yes I am bipolar in every single thing music inlcluding

Annnd I just reached 400 plays for Katatonia in last.fm
with the song Dispossession from their album Last Fair Deal Gone Down
cheers for that \m/ ^^ \m/

Viva Emptiness

for some unknown reason up until now I haven't made an entry about my all time favorite album but today I am going to fix this... and the album is Katatonia's 'Viva Emptiness' let me start with the title which itself is absolutely wonderful and I can only agree with it so lets cheer VIVA EMPTINESS!!! second comes the album cover which is also nothing but amazingly gorgeous just look on it.. it's grey what already gives live ever so much points.. and then there is this child with a bag full luch symbols like a horse shoe and a swan feathers and some bones... inside artwork is blody mindblowing too but the look of it I'll keep as a secret between thous who own the album....
so generaly it's about a guy who's in mafia just working his way too the top but something goes wrong and then he deciedes to leave the business but you know how it is with mafia you can never run away form them and they will find you... you can not hide from them but still he trys and plans how to get away... a long with that he also has a love to which he is faitfull and in the last track which for reasons unknown to me has been cut form the album but is ment to be as the last one he asks "wait for me outside will you hold on? can you hold on?"
I can listen to this album from stat till the end and then back again... I just recommend you give it a try

we are here to make everything metal

Johann Sebastian Bach – Brandenburg Concerto No. 5 In D Major BWV 1050 Allegro

right now I am kinda back into classical music and for few days I've been a bit obsessed by Bachs 5th Brandenburg Concerto and especially it's 1st [Allegro] part... I don't know why but I just seemed to be strangely attracted to it and just now I got why..... it fucking sounds METAL \m/
I've heard some opinions about Bachs connection with metal as some of his works were lets say.. heavier than the ones in his time and he also was the first one who used double countrabass in his music [a huge countrabass that needs two persons to be played] he used it for the reason of... well now guess what? deep and strong heaviness.... up until now I just accepted it as toughts of someone that might be true....... just now I realized that it really does sound metal.. maybe because of the virtuosity in play of the clavecin [which for some reason reminde me of Alexi Laiho] but I can not tell for sure..... just one thing I do know.... it does sound METAL