pain is easy to get used to.. and then you get addicted of it

Pinapple and lemon

What is the difference between dream and reality? like they both only exist in our heads so... this day was really weird... crazy moodswings fallowed by unexpected meetings made me wonder how unrealistic or dreamy the real world can get and how real the dream can become.... just watched the movie "Julie and Julia" it was nice indeed... just plain light and pleasant to watch even for a quite dark being like myself... it's 8min before 1am but it's 5day so I don't really care that much about the time... now I am just plainly yacking about nothing without any point at all... why should I write if I am not even saying anything? but most of the world does it now and get paid quite well for it [just look on the top books or top music lyrics... don't touch the videos they are good -giggle-] and this is my blog so......... sigh...... take out the trash and don't forget the undead babyes under my bed...... I can not write......... and the light on my modem is blinking.. connected with the world I am thinking.. how much of a human being.. can step into the red marked silling.. and not lose eye contakt with the lieing..... but when you do it's a free fall from the 13th floor

p.s. don't ask me about the title I simply have no answer

Shadow mistress

Don't listen just look

maybe the top pop music makes no sense at all... the most of the songs are just repeating of the same boring beat and same toughtless lines for 3 or more mins BUT... there is one good thing I see in the top charts or at least one good thing that comes from them and the thing is - Video Clips. maybe thous songs are just full of shit but look on the clips they have... they are fucking amazing.. the top starts is load with tons of cash so the bujget for single clip is enormos and clips directors with that money are making briliant works of art... only in 4 minutes you can see so much and mostly it's just something totaly schyzofremic but that is just what I love about it... one of my dreams [that have really less chance of coming reality] is to become a director of video clips... I could make me crazyest ideas come true and tough the song maybe is worthelss I could make it's visual appearence great..... so please.. don't listen to the songs but find your streanght to enjoy the marvelous visual art thous clips can provide

with doomy greetings humbly yours - Shadow mistress

why do modern man dies younger?

or at least lives for a shorter time? back in old days the life seemed like eternity. a year seemed like a decade for us oh how glorious times they were. you born, live and most probably died in on and the same place... you saw your granny getting old and them passing as well as your mother and father and you knew that some day you shall pass too and there is nothing unnatural in it. you were not afraid of the death as you knew your place and your time and as you were not afraid of it you also get to enjoy the life much more than the modern man does... these days it's all just a one great rush... first comes birth then couple years of magical bliss but then it all starts.. kinder garden -> school [primary->secondary] -> university -> work.... it just feels like with each up coming year the time starts to move faster and faster.. it's not going with one speed... the acceleration seems growing in geometrical progression... ohh how terrible it sounds when you just listen to yourself..... I lost my though here... hope any of this made at least a little sense -sigh- lately everything is passing by so fast the world just seems blurry in general and the dimness never leaves my head

with tired eyes and dizzy head yours - Shadow mistress

ohh... never mind

it's finally here ^^

I just understood that it's November for already 15min now... gosh it's finally here -clap- the darkest of all months.. the last faze of natures agony before falling asleep for the winter..
isn't that lovely? ^^

sleep is important to growing organism

have you ever wondered how you fell asleep last night? such thought comes across my mind now and then... I used to fall asleep the minute I get in bed.. it has changed over the last year and now I am still [as I have started to wonder before] wondering about the possibility that I might be in need for sleeping pills.. but the story is not about that... before sleep you try to find the best pose to rest in during the night.. for me it takes more than 20mins to find the right pose but I can never remember in which pose I fell asleep... I am then in the next night always trying to remember the pose in which I fell asleep but it never works... suppose the brains are like a computer by which I mean if you faint in a second you remember how it happened but if you go trough the all system shuting down process [you know... logging off, saving your settings ect.] you can not remember things that took an action during that process... sometimes I even get in the stand by mode and I can feel how my mind is switching to it....
suppsoe human mind is just a big mashine itself

p.s. I am starting to wake up strange too.. not the usual "open you eyes, understand where you are" way but like I would get my head above the water after drowning or something... it's starting to bother me a little