Everything Invaded (by Moonspell)

hey.... yeah I just wanted to say... since the road home sparked some thoughts in my head and the trouble falling sleep later on made the grow larger... I don't really know if I should be sorry for the things I do and don't do... have done and will do... I've been sorry for so many things in my life but it has never really made a difference... and what does sorry mean at all? that you would like to take back the things you've done the words you've said.. you know what? you can't and if the things you've said and done makes you look like an egocentrical whore well then you are one... live whit it.. and I will try too...
I don't know how to communicate whit people that aren't just your everyday friend... you know.. the usual mate you see now and then and can chat about some everyday shit... I've never really had [and here I refer to time period between my birth and the beginning of my high school days cause by the time I got into high school the way I look to people and relationships was so fucked up there is no way I could talk in clean terms] that one true bff... the mate you have always by your side and can talk to about everything and anything at all... the person who knows everything about you and you know everything about... I don't really know but should you have someone like that in your earlier days? I know that for some people this function has been overtaken by their brothers/sisters but since I am the only child this option falls off for me.... maybe that's why I've trouble to talk about myself now.... cause I've never really done that and because of that for me it mostly seems that if someone's asking how are you doing or so.. they don't really want to know how are you doing.. they just want to have a chance to tell someone how they are doing.. they don't really give a crap about you and why should they? they see you only now and then... the most probably would give a crap if you somehow get in hospital or get married or something like that.. they are your friends after all but as long as you're doing fine... maybe I see this in such way cause I've never really talked about myself... I've never really trusted anyone... the few times I did I ended up on the edge of an utter mental breakdown... hmm I wonder what could I've learned from that?.....