Mirror Of The Sick Soul

I feel sick... tired and sick..
and I don't know what to do.. I thought I could I even had a plan
I look at her and feel nothing..
no guilt no grief no remorse no pain no pleasure no joy no love no hate no disappointment no empathy
nothing
my mind still cares about her and quite a lot to be honest but my heart.. I look at her and I feel nothing.. I don't know how she has done that.. she must be very powerful to be able to create such a wall around herself.. maybe I am just that weak.. I am so weak.. so weak.. so.. useless.. and here she comes again and says to look at myself.. can't I see? I bring only pain and misery.. I am destructive I am the destructor.. I am infectious.. I should lock myself up so no one can ever get infected by shut up shut up shut up shutup shutup shutup shutup shutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutup....... I WILL NOT LET YOU DO THIS TO ME AGAIN....
and I whisper to myself.. it will blow over it will blow over you're just tired it will blow over...







save me