just another morning

I'm so sick.. so very sick... just a sick little girl... see? that's why you musn't be with anyone that's why you must remain alone.. your sick child.. sick... the darkness.. all around you.. that's your home.. your place.. don't even try to find something else.. they will leave and we will pull you back in anyway..but no no no no no no....oh yes little girl.. that's what's going to happen you know it... I don't believe in it.. you're just an illusion.. just an echo... a shadow.. please.. someone.. dear please SAVE ME FROM MYSELF.....




tuned on to Flyleaf



it will be fine... little girl just had a bad dream

shadow of a shadow

I fell like such a crap at the moment.. don't really know why.. she's still alive and she's pulling me back.. the despair and the coldness.. alone in the dark you must be she says to me.. alone.. forever alone.. sorrowful and isolated.. you must be like that forever.. but I am not anymore.. oh but soon you will be.. no I won't.. I will never be like that again.. not with her beside me.. but when she leaves? you know she will... no I don't.. that's only what you say.. what you want me to believe in so you could overtake me again and feed from me.. from my pain, fear and sorrow I know I can't kill you but I can make you die from hunger..
and each time she lays in front.. the last though.. just before I fall asleep.. repeats itself over and over again "I love her"
and I hate myself so much for being so casual when I am with her... I am still so very weak

oh and one more thing.. I don't know if she knows.. I think that she doesn't.. each touch of her mesmerizes me.. sends burning shivers all trough my vanes.. and I don't know anymore.. how to be.. where to be and what to be..

why should I trust you? cause I am the Doctor

aaand I forgot to tell you... I finally saw the new Doctor Who episode [fuck yeah - period]... it was so marvelous oh my dear Doctor I missed you ever so much.. I saw it in the morning and because of it was hype all day long *giggle* if you have seen some episodes you'll understand why. if you haven't.. then watch some and you will.. and you know what is ever so awesome? that next week there will be a new episode.. oh my Bob *giggle* my dear Doctor I missed you ever so much.. if you would only knew what has happened to me during this time :3

a morning isn't a morning without a feeling of a morning

Deadmau5 and Darwin thous mates should drink a cup of tea some time together... they should call the Doctor to get to each other though... still it's a brilliant way to start a day... should watch some anime too... don't have anything light again xD the lightest thing I have no is The High School Of The Dead I think xD actually it's bloody good but what do you want it's horror + ecchi so what comes from it? the two great B's... Blood and Boobs... it's a new one too so the quality is really good... only 30 [or so] pages to go.. it looks like I am going to fulfill the task given by my dear mate.. to finally finish it till the end of a year... well then.. it was nice seeing you ;-) I am going back to dive into pulsing waves of Deadmau5 & Darwin

oh and last night I fell asleep to the Kafka's Castle and woke up an hour or so later to that 4h track.... how awesome is that? xD

one more thing about the HSOFD... in the end of the first ep there was this tune.. this ever so lovely tune which made me think "oh this anime really is brilliant" it took me some seconds to realized why I loved it so on an instance.. it was a cover of the 28 theme

awake! awake! the morning is here little girl

who's the men? you're the men little girl.. you know what you have to do I know that you want it too.. be rude little girl.. be big be what you truly are little girl... or are you just saying? or are you pretending? or are you simply like a salamander pretending to be big? are you really lying to them all? take a step.. don't look back.. fuck the past and fuck the doubts.. take step.. fall into the river.. let the stream overtake you.. be brave little girl... grow up little girl.. you are out of there now.. your time has come little girl.. be brave little girl.. be bold little girl.. don't be a little girl little girl... are you scared? are you still scared? no... no you are not.. the voices... only pale echoes still there but they.. they have no thongs in their mouths... be brave little girl.. be bold little girl

"it is time to spread my wings
to fill this empty hole.

It has now begun
The forces under me
Will conquer all before
And bring me to my victory!

I've seen that man before
Down from the fall
And now standing tall
I've seen this
I have been this
And now I am
my own man

No more misery
Look outside and see
What are you waiting for?
Pick yourself up
Get up off the floor "

you have a shirt but I have none because you have a shirt

watching a movie about Troll 2 [if you haven't seen Troll 2 you MUST see it now.. if you know me personal and aynt too for away from me you MUST get me so we can watch it together] and there is this guy.. he's Troll 2 fan.. he's just saying something and then I notice that he has a Summoning shirt.. I instantly go like "gosh.. I LOVE YOU ALREADY!!! don't mind me while I take my clothes off" *giggle*

hello! my name is...

Abanazer... that's one of the most gothic words ever.. just listen to the ring of it.. Abanazer... just like Emily and Lenore