into the lips of earth

it's starting again... I came back from camp and I tough it was over... like I slept kinda good for first couple of night but last night... I need sleeping pills... I could go to psyhiatrist [I can bet I spelled it so damn wrong but... don't really give a shit] and get some rugs from him... I think he/she would give me some pills I actualy have no doubts about it only the thing is.. I am too lazy to make a visit of any sorta....... am I afraid of dark? more and more I realyze that I really don't like to sleep during the night and again I find myself up late without realyzing waiting for the dawn to come so I can go to sleep... just..... don't like to.... lie.... and wait.... for the....... sleep to come..... too many......... in my head.... playing...... whispers...... and I am trembling..............it's hard to breath.. to breath in a crowd.... alone yet surounded by many... can not.... breath....... exosted and I am finaly exosted..... fall..... and sleep between wet pillows