Black Session

I used to love
oh how I loved
but
"what if you love someone you know
you shouldn't love?"
and then all of a sudden
it all comes crushing down
"and I just can't get back
the feeling I had for you"
and now at the edge where I am
"Not close enough for you
To hear a breath or steal a sigh
But just close enough for me
To take a step and pass you by"
"I'd like to try to live my life again
I'd like to see where I was going wrong"
what ever happened
that made this way?
I feel stronger now
but at the same time
I'm ever so weak
and when ever I try to talk
"my lips are dry you
gave me drugs to try"
and I wonder
did I hit my head once again?
cause now it feels like
my 500 days of summer are passing
and I don't know
weather it's for good or not
I feel so weak
but maybe
it's all just in my head
"always closing down myself
lower sights and never see
worlds of noise and worlds of light
expecting not to be"
it's my own fault isn't it?
but
"what if you love someone you know
you shouldn't love?"
I feel so cold and I wonder
what ever made me this way?
I feel so cold and I wonder
who ever made me this way?
and I know I know
I am the one to blame
and I know I know
I am taking it all to personal again
and I know I know
it looks like I never was there
I never shouted that I was
kept it all to myself
as always.....
just not supposed to be
my 500 days of summer are passing
at least it feels like it
but maybe it's all just in my head
maybe it's all just an illusion
and now I wonder
was it ever there?
were you ever there?
am I taking it too personal
but you don't know
oh how could you know
I keep it to myself
as always...
just not supposed to be
the way I should.. the way you would have deserved
"gone is the darkness that I once called my home
or have I become it?"

and I could go one like this forever but.... what's the point? it most probably will just make everything worse......... my days are counted... the leaves are falling

"repeating cycle of light, no light
repeating cycle of love, no love"