Created by Oatmeal

Created by Oatmeal

Created by Oatmeal

Created by Oatmeal

wiiiii it's a twee

k...k..k.. it's 4 to 23 and I am getting a bit hyper.. got my music folder on shuffle [total of 11304 songs] and it just spit out Tullycraft... they are soooo cool -giggle- now I am standing on my chair and dancing in the dark with my big headphones on... feels kinda cool ^^



yes I am bipolar in every single thing music inlcluding

Annnd I just reached 400 plays for Katatonia in last.fm
with the song Dispossession from their album Last Fair Deal Gone Down
cheers for that \m/ ^^ \m/

Viva Emptiness

for some unknown reason up until now I haven't made an entry about my all time favorite album but today I am going to fix this... and the album is Katatonia's 'Viva Emptiness' let me start with the title which itself is absolutely wonderful and I can only agree with it so lets cheer VIVA EMPTINESS!!! second comes the album cover which is also nothing but amazingly gorgeous just look on it.. it's grey what already gives live ever so much points.. and then there is this child with a bag full luch symbols like a horse shoe and a swan feathers and some bones... inside artwork is blody mindblowing too but the look of it I'll keep as a secret between thous who own the album....
so generaly it's about a guy who's in mafia just working his way too the top but something goes wrong and then he deciedes to leave the business but you know how it is with mafia you can never run away form them and they will find you... you can not hide from them but still he trys and plans how to get away... a long with that he also has a love to which he is faitfull and in the last track which for reasons unknown to me has been cut form the album but is ment to be as the last one he asks "wait for me outside will you hold on? can you hold on?"
I can listen to this album from stat till the end and then back again... I just recommend you give it a try

Infusco Somnium part I

everything is dark but I can feel the shiny light coming from somewhere far.. I opened my eyes.. rays of light were now and then striking my face when they were not trapped by the branches. smooth coldness came from the earth and embraced my flesh. a light wind played with the last few dying leaves in a tree. "can I ask you for this final dance?" he whispered in their ears and as they gave up their hopes to hold a little longer he like a ever so caring gentlemen led them down till they reached the ground. twirling and spinning they went as thous leaves died. I could smell the sense of rotting leaves as tons of them were covering the earth and their corpses and the earth itself slowly became one. all seemed grey.. the tree, the leaves, the ground even the air itself seemed full of grey light. I looked at my hands. they were pale.. as they always have been at least as far as I can remember myself. then I tried to capture some memories about the time that has passed but for my own surprise I couldn't remember anything before that darkness with light in a distance. I was getting cold as the breathing earth more and more perflate it's cold breath to my flesh. everything seemed so silent. I got up. some dead leaves were stuck to my back like trying to get away from the freezing ground. I suppose they still had some will to live on. I gazed to that tree infront of me. light were desperetaly trying to reach my face but the braches wont let it happen. all my body seemed unawakened yet. I wonder.. how long have I lied there. I tryed to think but my head just refused to cooperate so I sat down again leaned my head against the grey trunk and closed my eyes...

plan for tonight

it's 5day.. I got home totally exausted as always in 5days.. fell asleep and got up after midnight... now it's 2:40 am I am listening to viking metal and feeling a huge urge to play Morrowind... I think I'll do that now ^^

by the way.. Morrowind is my all time favorite game.. it's an RPG with great atmosphere, looks and just everything in general... I love it forever more

gosh.. thous little thingys seems like nothing but sometimes they are true as a fuck

Your Psyche is Yellow

You have a ton of energy - both physical and mental endurance. You are rational and logical, and you can help almost anyone think clearly. Optimistic and bright, you also have a secret side that's a little darker. When you are too yellow: You will do anything to get your way, and no one will be the wiser When you don't have enough yellow: you lack confidence, drive, and humor

What Color Is Your Psyche?

Blogthings: If Quizzes Are Outlawed, Only Outlaws Will Take Quizzes

Smile is the shortest distance between two persons

A statement like this was put in my front today and it asked for my opinion for as you see the english lesson was the place and to tell my thoughts was the task..at the spot more than one idea came across my mind so now I am here writing it down...

First of all I would like to say that I absolutely disagree with this particular statement for as you see smile can be nor the shortest physical nor mental distance between two individuals for as you see the shortest physical distance is also the smallest space between two objects in this case human beings and smile can definitely not be the shortest/smallest space between two I hope you agree with me on here.. as for the mental closeness and my disagreement in this section too.. for as you see it is quite easy to fake a smile as you might know but if you don't I can surely tell you that by my own personal experience.... but what you can not fake or you can do it only with great art of acting which rare of who has... is the look on you eyes... you can smile with your lips but the truth shall be exposed upon your eyes.... [something disturbed me here and I lost my point]

Existence

event only exist in the form of memories.. if no one remembers the even conclusion can be easily made - even hasn't happened at all.. as well as the events one self also only exist in other person memory that is.. if no one has any information storeged in their memory about some specific character we can say as well that this character doesn't exist at all as there is no signatures about it's existence... if no one remembers you, you do not exist.. from this can be found the answer to question "am I?" and the answer to that is "only if someone remembers it" but there is another question that likes to bug or minds.. "who am I?" and the answer to this question comes in more than one part.. first of all there is no one definate and still character that presents one self.. second from previous resolutions made we can see that one is at all only if someone remebers it and from this comes the third and general point... ones personality can only be found in people that remembers this person memory or more clearer the way others remembers this particular person... there is no one and only "you" you are what and more general how others see you

it's raining outside
I wish I could have beer for breakfasts
I haven't left my house for four days
instead I had another cup of tee
hope tomorrow will differ
and then I will have beer for breakfasts

the day started out pale
everything seemed grey
even more than usually
mist fills the air
there is no sun today
tiny water drops on the branches
crow sits in a birch
grey is the ground
grey are thous buildings
rays of light reaches my eyes
sunbeams plays in the branches
and old man crosses the cement space
Opeth - Harvest plays in the background

midnight Quizzes session

You Are a Chocolate Cheesecake

Rich and greedy, you're attracted to the dark side of life. Nothing ever quite satisfies your inner beast. And somehow, people find that sexy.

What Kind of Cheesecake Are You?

Your Mind is Blue

Of all the mind types, yours is the most mellow. You tend to be in a meditative state most of the time. You don't try to think away your troubles. Your thoughts are realistic, fresh, and honest. You truly see things as how they are. You tend to spend a lot of time thinking about your friends, your surroundings, and your life.

What Color Is Your Mind?

You Are Profoundly Disturbing

You're weird, freaky, and maybe even a little psycho. You aren't just attracted to darkness - you thrive in it. Your interests are downright creepy, and you may even lack normal human empathy. While there's no harm in enjoying the macabre, remember to keep your vilest thoughts to yourself!

Are You Disturbingly Profound or Profoundly Disturbing?

You Are "tab"

Some people might try to say that you're always spaced out. You do tend to be a dreamer, but you're also a great multitasker. You work quickly and efficiently. So it's no problem if you goof off a little while you're working. And if people want to think you're flakey, that's fine. You're getting more done than they are.

What Keyboard Key Are You?

You Are 50% Weird

Normal enough to know that you're weird... But too damn weird to do anything about it!

How Weird Are You?

Blogthings: Take a Quiz. Annoy Your Friends.

we are here to make everything metal

Johann Sebastian Bach – Brandenburg Concerto No. 5 In D Major BWV 1050 Allegro

right now I am kinda back into classical music and for few days I've been a bit obsessed by Bachs 5th Brandenburg Concerto and especially it's 1st [Allegro] part... I don't know why but I just seemed to be strangely attracted to it and just now I got why..... it fucking sounds METAL \m/
I've heard some opinions about Bachs connection with metal as some of his works were lets say.. heavier than the ones in his time and he also was the first one who used double countrabass in his music [a huge countrabass that needs two persons to be played] he used it for the reason of... well now guess what? deep and strong heaviness.... up until now I just accepted it as toughts of someone that might be true....... just now I realized that it really does sound metal.. maybe because of the virtuosity in play of the clavecin [which for some reason reminde me of Alexi Laiho] but I can not tell for sure..... just one thing I do know.... it does sound METAL

like in an ant town

today I went to this big mass event that took place in our dear capital.. mostly it's old town.. I saw some interesting things but came home with a one big lesson of the day - I hate crowds... I have knew this fact about myself for some time already but never before I have felt so sick of the mass as I did today.. no matter where I went there were always tons of people there and all that I can say is.. I felt really really sick and more than just uneasy... lets say - disturbed.... it's also interesting how lonely crowd makes you feel like there is someone everywhere you gaze but though you are in the middle of it all you feel more alone then if you would be just by yourself there... maybe the fact that you know none of thous persons strongers the feeling of loneliness.. there are so many of them around but you know none of them and none knows you actually that could be it.. the core of loneliness... no one knows you.......
lucky for me I had a friend of mine with me there so it wasn't that bad but still I felt really really sick and uneasy....... I truly dislike masses of any kind

pain is easy to get used to.. and then you get addicted of it

Pinapple and lemon

What is the difference between dream and reality? like they both only exist in our heads so... this day was really weird... crazy moodswings fallowed by unexpected meetings made me wonder how unrealistic or dreamy the real world can get and how real the dream can become.... just watched the movie "Julie and Julia" it was nice indeed... just plain light and pleasant to watch even for a quite dark being like myself... it's 8min before 1am but it's 5day so I don't really care that much about the time... now I am just plainly yacking about nothing without any point at all... why should I write if I am not even saying anything? but most of the world does it now and get paid quite well for it [just look on the top books or top music lyrics... don't touch the videos they are good -giggle-] and this is my blog so......... sigh...... take out the trash and don't forget the undead babyes under my bed...... I can not write......... and the light on my modem is blinking.. connected with the world I am thinking.. how much of a human being.. can step into the red marked silling.. and not lose eye contakt with the lieing..... but when you do it's a free fall from the 13th floor

p.s. don't ask me about the title I simply have no answer

Shadow mistress

Don't listen just look

maybe the top pop music makes no sense at all... the most of the songs are just repeating of the same boring beat and same toughtless lines for 3 or more mins BUT... there is one good thing I see in the top charts or at least one good thing that comes from them and the thing is - Video Clips. maybe thous songs are just full of shit but look on the clips they have... they are fucking amazing.. the top starts is load with tons of cash so the bujget for single clip is enormos and clips directors with that money are making briliant works of art... only in 4 minutes you can see so much and mostly it's just something totaly schyzofremic but that is just what I love about it... one of my dreams [that have really less chance of coming reality] is to become a director of video clips... I could make me crazyest ideas come true and tough the song maybe is worthelss I could make it's visual appearence great..... so please.. don't listen to the songs but find your streanght to enjoy the marvelous visual art thous clips can provide

with doomy greetings humbly yours - Shadow mistress

why do modern man dies younger?

or at least lives for a shorter time? back in old days the life seemed like eternity. a year seemed like a decade for us oh how glorious times they were. you born, live and most probably died in on and the same place... you saw your granny getting old and them passing as well as your mother and father and you knew that some day you shall pass too and there is nothing unnatural in it. you were not afraid of the death as you knew your place and your time and as you were not afraid of it you also get to enjoy the life much more than the modern man does... these days it's all just a one great rush... first comes birth then couple years of magical bliss but then it all starts.. kinder garden -> school [primary->secondary] -> university -> work.... it just feels like with each up coming year the time starts to move faster and faster.. it's not going with one speed... the acceleration seems growing in geometrical progression... ohh how terrible it sounds when you just listen to yourself..... I lost my though here... hope any of this made at least a little sense -sigh- lately everything is passing by so fast the world just seems blurry in general and the dimness never leaves my head

with tired eyes and dizzy head yours - Shadow mistress

ohh... never mind

it's finally here ^^

I just understood that it's November for already 15min now... gosh it's finally here -clap- the darkest of all months.. the last faze of natures agony before falling asleep for the winter..
isn't that lovely? ^^

sleep is important to growing organism

have you ever wondered how you fell asleep last night? such thought comes across my mind now and then... I used to fall asleep the minute I get in bed.. it has changed over the last year and now I am still [as I have started to wonder before] wondering about the possibility that I might be in need for sleeping pills.. but the story is not about that... before sleep you try to find the best pose to rest in during the night.. for me it takes more than 20mins to find the right pose but I can never remember in which pose I fell asleep... I am then in the next night always trying to remember the pose in which I fell asleep but it never works... suppose the brains are like a computer by which I mean if you faint in a second you remember how it happened but if you go trough the all system shuting down process [you know... logging off, saving your settings ect.] you can not remember things that took an action during that process... sometimes I even get in the stand by mode and I can feel how my mind is switching to it....
suppsoe human mind is just a big mashine itself

p.s. I am starting to wake up strange too.. not the usual "open you eyes, understand where you are" way but like I would get my head above the water after drowning or something... it's starting to bother me a little