Lacuna Coil - I Like It

I am starting to really really dig the new Lacuna Coil album [which at this time can't really be called new but it's their newest so]
it's brilliant ^^
so today I am into this little one and guess what.. they have made a clip for this awesome song.. the clip itself is really funny.. interesting and entertaining but because of it. it kinda drags you away from the song itself... lyrics mainly.. that's not too nice if you want to present this song to someone who hasn't heard it before but meh...... enjoy ^^

I Blame Coco - Selfmachine

well maybe not just today but for the last few days... thanks one o one for sticking me to this lil' one -shakes fist-giggle-

being all blithesome ^^

to a neverending story there's always a new beginning

Just watched the first episode of Dr. Who 5th season... the 4th one ended.. well it ended how it should have ended you know... putting everything where it should be... past is past and so on.. the new doctor is... awesome.. the new Tardis.. magnificent and the new girl... brilliant
this is going to be great!! -clap-

got a bottle of wine and whole night to myself ^^

Pleasure Is All Mine

morning morning where do you hide why can't I see you coming by storm

I want some more tea...
head full of nothing but the day seems nice

mirror mirror on the wall why can't I recognize her

Message From Nowhere

I should just let go.. move on.. the past will never return the future will never come.. I should let go and give in.. give in to one of those guys who clearly have some interest in me... pretend that I am what they want me to be.. it shouldn't be hard I am not that bad at acting.. maybe it will help.. to have healthy relationships for once in my life and all it takes is to pretend that I am something.. something they think I am... clearly the way I am can not be accepted.. in my own shoes I can only walk as that good friend.. as that weird good friend next to whom you can feel a little bit saner.. a little bit more normal.. a little bit stronger and more stable... I can be that good friend I fit for that role almost prefectly but nothing more... at least not while I am in my own shoes.... getting a bit sick of being constantly stuck in a confusing status.. where ever I go to whomever I turn all roads lead to confusion.... and you don't even know.. though you should have noticed but knowing me you might as well haven't... I still wonder weather or not should I write.... getting sick of being constantly confused.. wondering what do they think... what do I think.... what do I think...

I've lost something
....something
I can..... not.. find
there's a....... missing link
I'm............. incomplete
and
because of that one.... little..... thing
that's ..................been lost
the .....whole system
is falling .......................apart

lost in dust
I am ............blind
and weak
ever so ................weak
no .................ground under
my feet
I am .................................hanging

Where Is The Line, When The Edge Will Come?

one of thous pictures which always makes me wonder and that day.. that day when I won't even try to find an answer then... then I will hang myself

Hologram

Drinking tea, listening to music and getting all depressed fuck yeah!... just heard Roses Theme 10 times in a row... I miss her... and he does too I can tell.. he loved her... but I can feel it coming... she isn't trapped she's getting out of there... looking for him.. calling for him but will they ever come back together?.... I miss her and I can't even understand why... she was just an ordinary girl nothing special nothing at all... but why then I miss her so? cause there was.. there was something special about her... some thing I can not expline.. something in the way of hers.. something about the way she stood beside him.... instrumental music is way more depressive than the one whit words... way... way more depressing... *sigh* 11th time here it goes

Re-Connect

I am home...
Finally ^^
I want some tea...
-giggle-

I am more awesome than you

how awesome am I?
am I so awesome that I can catch cold in middle of summer durind the hotest days in many years when it feels like your in sauna 24/7 I am exatcly that awesome ^^
but it's all right I am feeling almost normal today.. a little sniff here and a little sniff there but otherways it's all right :3
my stay here is expanding a bit more than I ahd planned but.. I guess that's for good more than for worse...
I am reading... a lot xD and that's a plus
for the last week it was horribly hot and thas a minus
but the weather is all better now and that's a plus
I caught cold... minus
I got more time to myself.. plus
I am not stuck in a small flat in a city... plus
I've met ever so many new people... plus
I've got a little tan... minus
but only on face and arms... plus
I hang around with chickens... plus [I <3 chickens ^^]
I can rarely scrroble... minus
I listen to a lot of old tapes... plus
I can not watch my favorite shows... minus [I miss Doctor Who :-/]
and anime.... minus
I've been to some very cool places... plus
I've met people I haven't seen for ages... plus
I can read till 4am and noone disturbs me.... plus
I got the radio on for all night long... plus
I am in constant wait.... minus
but the days are counted... plus ^^

are you dead yet?

couldn't sleep this night... again.. damn... god damn insomnia... that shit is killing me -sigh- it's keeping me up and what is the worst it stucks a load of shit in my head so I am laying there trying to fall asleep but in my head these ever so overreacted thoughs keep spinning around.... again and again and all I can do is cry myself to sleep... night after night.... maybe I should seek profesional help.. there's something terribly wrong with me... I hate how I keep over reacting... feeling like I am the only one who suffers.... hate myself for that ever so much... but this voice in my head it keeps whispering over and over again and I just can't seem to be able to get rid of it... not alone at least -sigh- I am ever so weak and I hate it till the core I just wish.... I need to get some sleeping pills maybe they will help....

somehow this seems to ease the agony of falling asleep

I am starting fall for that little girl ^^ and I have no fing idea why only now

everything has it's end.. then again it's just a new beginning

remember what I said about the thing the road from heaven to hell is ever so short? well I just watched how the sun goes down and now I am watching Coraline.. first 10 min and I already love it :3 but it's old boy Tim so what do you want? -giggle- yes I am still all alone but feelin' great ^^ oh well... good ol' freidn bipolarity I guess you'll stick adround for quite some more time won't you -wink-

is this the bottom yet?

funny day...
I've never felt so alone
from heaven to hell
never though the road was so short
I've never felt so alone
forsaken... forgotten..
everyones out doing their things
but that was my choice right?
it's funny...
"if only I had someone to talk to
maybe I wouldn't feel so low
if I had someone to talk to
maybe there would be a place to go"


I know I know I already posted it but.. it's all I can listen to now

song of today

first morning in paradise... well almost

yesterday I finnaly arrived to my contryside house.. haven't been here for agaes ohh foolish me.. I can't even count the times I said "awesome... this is awesome" during the last day.. it terrebly hot in here but oh well... everything can't be perfect -giggle- one of the best moments of yesterday... I in my old room with window wide open I located myself on my old sofa... somewhere in my dads old pirate tape collection I found The Cure [isn't that awesome?] so I put that on while I was reading some old sci-fi book... ohh.. I could write and write but let's just say.... it awesome... ever so awesome ^^ one little thing is missing though but I am hoping to get it latest next week ^^

p.s. this entry is... I don't know why... shut up you grammar nazi... -giggle-

song of today

song of today

don't mind me I'm mad

The Hanging Garden

I saw you last night...... one of the worst nightmare I've ever had...... I don't really know if I should put this up here but you know? this is my place and I have to get it out of me so.... we were on a field trip... in some place inside where there was water in a form of small river you know like the one in zoo and there..... there I saw you...... I saw you... kissing another girl.. someone from the class it really doesn't matter who..... for a second I just froze it felt like every single thing in my body would have stopped... I turned around and walked away... I ended up in some cafe..... I could hardly breath trying my best not to pass out hoping my heart will not simply stop cause it really felt like it could just any second.... after a moment you came in there as well.. alone this time.. ever so happy.. brightly shining... you were saying something but I couldn't hear my head was full of static... somehow I ever got a smile upon my lips... I couldn't allow myself to get you worried... I should have been happy with you for you... but instead I was dying feeling like I would collapse just any second.. my heart would stop just any second... my lungs they weren't working already... everything around blurred out and head full of static..... I woke up with a dagger in my chests and rope around my neck... I couldn't see them but they were there at least it felt like it.. it still feels like it....
this was the first thing I wanted to hear after waking up thanks goddess I had it in my phone... why them? well I guess because they are the core of doom.. the soil in which grows the tree of doom...... and that's where I was then... berried in the soil of doom.... after the first time when I listened to it after waking up I was able to breath once again... now I have the whole album up and.... well I think I'll survive