is it something special?

still and quiet is this time.. no toughs of any sort has passed trough my mind lately. maybe it's because of the time.. you know the christmas.. I've lost my sense of any holiday spirit a long time ago and now during things like birthdays or the christmas as in this case I don't feel different than in any other day.. to be honest I feel even more low as I see everyone being so light and joyful but here I sit.. just nothing... as always... but that's my way and the path I've chosen to walk. it's the last day of the year for already 23min suppose I should think something about how the next year will be and sucha.. hope to change be better or any of thous shits. but no... it's nothing for most kind of socienty it should be something special but for me.. it's just nothing really but you know.. I am not much into special things.. or society.. or anything really

it has rained for two days almost non-stop now.... don't you love this place weather? I know I do ^^

Katatonia - Help Me Disappear

to completely dissolve,
what method is used
i cannot sleep,
my hands are bruised
there's a hole in the wall,
torn up anew
one dead eye,
the colour of you

to vanish for life
and promise to stay
away from the knowing,
bird in a cage
i'd give so much
for the courage to go
if i ask for your help,
then you will know

so help me disappear
or to believe in a change
no way out of here
that i can see
or the nightmares that burn
into my head at night
make them disappear
so i can breathe

looked out the window twice,
just to be sure
that noone was standing
outside the door
but it's just as calm
as it was before
they're all gone now,
not there anymore

isolated myself
for the sake of freedom
i clenched my fist
for the sake of kindness
i read a book full of strange
words
loneliness is a disease



some songs are just written for you or at least it feels like it

that's what I call party music

a friend of mine few days ago send me a message with some music recommendations and guess what she was recommending to me? nothing but the good ol' Korpiklaani.. she said that she had diged them up somewhere and as she listened to them I came in her mind [ohh isn't that sweet? -giggle-] so yeah I responded that there is no way that I might not know them xD I just hadn't listened to them for some quite time so I did again and you know what? as I was listening to them a question came upon me... why the blody fuck we need al that dance one beat songs for or partyes whail we could just put up some Korpiklaani and enjoy some good ol' polka beats.. actualy they makes me so much more feel like dancing than al thous silly never ending bass beats... so Fuck the industrial music Fuck the modern music and FUCK the lausy one beat music... polka is the way all trought and shall stay... down with the Dj up with Korpiklaani \m/ -does a little dance here- \m/

this was the song she sent to me [right now I am listening to 'Tervaskanto' which is Korpiklaani live]

I still dream about bleeding