Destroying Something Beautiful

the pain the darkness... an abyss of despair... I live in another world... no ones here.. they all watch me from the side and so do I... for ever alone.. the shadows whisper into my ear.... I am self-destructive... I must self-destruct... they will make me anyway... why do I even bother to open my mouth.. it always ends as a disaster.. and it always will they say me... this world of endless void... the pain.. the dark... it's like... without them I couldn't exist at all