rapture

I should say something today as well right?
my hand hurts :< that fast picking thing aynt that easy.. ohh what can possibly be there that hard? just move your hand real fast and that's all... you know what... if you do so you will only get some off time asimetric shreding and that's good for nothing... but I think I am doing better then when I started so... that's more than nothing ^^
it's damn cold in here.. I like it when it's cold outside but I want my place to be warm... maybe I should put on some gloves...
the morning was brilliant.. the sky above simply magnificent.. looked like it's bleeding.. like there would have been a massacre in heaven and all the angels would bleed all over the space above..
still thinking should I or should I not lock myself utterly up... it's not like I am really that much needed by anyone I think.. company is always nice I understand that but I think I could be simply replicable... ohh if only it would make her go away... that voice in my head.. it's starting to get really annoying.. it's like I can't do anything without being criticized... I have to admit she is right.. at least most of the time but still... when I think back it almost feels like I've been criticized for everything I do my whole life... if not by others then by myself.. or her cause really at the moment she is branching off my entity and becoming an individual one.... and now again.. can you hear it? off curse I am NOT FUCKING ONLY ONE!!!! everyone I think have it the same way but god.... you don't have to rub it in my face again and again and again.... everything I say is wrong.. I guess I should just shut up then... you would like it wouldn't you?